The Simple Plan

In order to get your ex back you need to take a plan of action. There are several different ways of getting your ex back but whatever way you go about doing it, you need to have a rough plan of what you intend to do.

As I've said on other pages, sending your ex countless test messages or ringing them constantly will only make things worse the majority of the time.

The simple plan I'm about to go through is by no means a solution for every relationship because every break up is different but it could certainly help.

Most relationships need to go through some sort of "cool off period" after the break up. This is a period of around 2-4 weeks while you and your ex have time to think about your lives.

This may not be what you want to hear, you may want to get your ex back right now but believe me, this isn't possible a lot of the time.

The cool of period will help you both figure out what you want from each other and in live. You never know, during this time your ex may contact you once they start to miss you.

During this period it's important that you remain up beat and confident. Surround yourself with friends or family as often as possible to help keep your mind off your ex, see Avoid Loneliness.

Once this period has passed it's time to make contact with your ex and try and arrange a meeting with them. It always better if you have a meeting by your ex's consent, in other words they agree to see you and therefore obviously want to see you.

It's not really a good idea to hang around the bars or clubs were your ex goes in the hopes of seeing them. Not only will this catch your ex by surprise, they may also think you're stalking them so it's always better to meet by mutual consent.

Once the time and place for your meeting has been sent you obviously need to look your best. Remind your ex of what they're missing.

Once you've finally met them you then need to keep the conversation away from getting back together for a while no matter how tempted you may be.

Ideally you should talk about happy times or memories that the two of you share as well as the normal conversations that you would expect such as "what have you been up to recently."

It may not even be appropriate to bring up the subject of getting back together on this first meeting. As I've already said, each relationship is different so you may want to wait until a second meeting before approaching that subject.

If in your first meeting your ex is trying to get close to you or even touching you then there shouldn't be any harm in bringing up the subject of getting back together.

It all depends on how the conversation is flowing and whether or not you feel it would be appropriate to discuss the break up and getting back together. If you don't think it's appropriate then it probably isn't so don't risk it.

There's plenty of time to discuss getting back together so you need to make sure you don't rush into it. It may happen on your first meeting, it may take several meetings but it's better to wait until the time is right.

So this is the basic plan that you will need to get your ex back. Obviously depending on the circumstances of your break up you will probably need to do things a little differently. The magic of making up is a book that goes into much more detail about many different circumstances of a break up and how to resolve them.