Don't Do This

If you want to get back with your ex then there are a few things that you shouldn't do. You need to make sure that you don't scare them away because if you do it may be too late to do anything about it.

One of the worst things you can do is bombard your ex with phone calls and text messages. This is something that a lot of people do but in most cases you will end up in a worse position than what you were before hand.

If you've just been through a break up it can be very tempting to constantly ring or text your ex to try and resolve the issue but simply put, it makes you look desperate and needy.

To most people these are unattractive qualities so all you do is push them away further. Also you should think about things logically, if things were the other way round and you were unsure about whether or not you wanted your ex back and they kept pestering you an wouldn't leave you alone would you find it attractive or would it scare you away?

In a lot of cases relationships need to go through a "cool off period" and in this time you need to keep contact with your ex to a minimum.

So the first thing you must not do is constantly contact your ex and pester them.

What Else?

It's important that you aren't alone when you're going through a break up. The human brain fills us up with various emotions on a daily basis and when going through a break up the emotion you're most likely feeling is loneliness.

This is perfectly natural so you need to surround yourself with your friends. See the page on Avoid Loneliness

If you're lonely you're more likely to fall into the trap above and start bombarding your ex with phone calls or text messages.

You also need to avoid any sort of confrontation or argument. All to often people tell their ex how they feel and that they want them back only for their ex to turn them down, this is normal and it's nothing to worry about (see If your ex doesn't want you)

It's not a problem if your ex says they don't want you at first because you can soon change that. What is a problem is if you take the rejection the wrong way and turn it into an argument. Doing this is a sure fire way to make things worse.

During the break up period it's crucial that you avoid any form of argument, whether it be if your ex still won't take you back or if you're talking about the issues that caused the break up.

Even if you need to bite your lip or swallow pride, make sure you avoid arguments.